Bless This Hot Mess

Have you ever prayed for peace yet experienced the greatest turmoil?  Have you ever prayed for patience yet felt so enraged on the inside?  Have you ever prayed and wondered if God has forgotten you? #hehasnot

We all have seasons.  Seasons where we’re on top of the world, and seasons where we feel like life is a big fat shit sandwich and we have to get up and take another bite.

Have you ever asked God to bless your hot mess of a life, yet feel a little embarrassed, knowing you masterfully created the storm you’re in?  Perhaps you haven’t been living your life in line with His word?  #behonest #nojudgement.  #iknowihave


How often do we ask Him for blessing over our finances, then go on our legendary trips to Target or rack up our charge cards on merchandise we don’t need?  Or, even better, live with our fists closed – stingy with our money when we could help others in need? #word

How often do we ask Him to to heal us, then go eat everything we can stuff in our pie hole, drink alcohol, binge on sugar, then complain about our aches and pains? #ouchnopunintended

How often do we ask Him for a breakthrough in our businesses, yet repeat the same self-sabotaging behaviors, remaining absolutely uncoachable?  #yesyou

Or, one of my favorites … how often do we ask Him to change the ones we love when, in reality, it’s our angelic selves who need the most work?  #thatonehurt

Can you say oxymorons?

The only way to make a change in your life is to make a change in your life.  Whether it be in your personal life, your business, your health, or your relationships with others. 

You know those friends in your life who never, ever call you?  If you want to talk to them, you always have to be the one to call?  Not only does it sometimes sting, but even worse, I absolutely HATE it when I’m the friend who doesn’t pick up the phone.  I’m “that person” in so many situations.  I know it.  I own it.

The same goes with our relationship with God.  It’s a “team effort”.  After awhile, He’s going to stop calling you for happy hour.  This I know to be true, but I also know that if you pick up the phone to call Him, He will always, always pick up the phone and say, “Hey, GURL, hey!  What took you so long?!”

I can also tell you another little secret.  Our journey is meant to have painful seasons.  It’s not easy.  It’s not for primadonnas.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  In fact, I’ll go so far as to say it can seem soul-crushing.  Those seasons can seem long, dark and gloomy, but if you persevere, you will emerge with an unwavering strength, an astounding bravery and a level of confidence you never knew existed.

You will have learned some of the most valuable lessons of your life.  Lessons that will make you wiser.  Lessons that will make your eyes sparkle and your soul shine.  You will move through your days with a vibrancy that puts the world on notice that you’re no longer going to settle.  You no longer need to subscribe to the chaos of others, or create your own for that matter.  You won’t have the big huge hole in your heart that needs to be filled with material things, the wrong people, harmful substances or negativity.  Your hopes and dreams, peace and joy lie only in the ONE on the throne. 

I wrote this poem (you know the kind that doesn’t rhyme) during a very difficult time in my life nine years ago, and it still rings true today …


A soul is like a sponge.
It begins fresh and new,
absent of unpleasant odors or stains.

Thinking back on life,
my sponge sometimes seemed perfect.
Other times, it was so full it dripped with joy.
Then a thief in the night squeezed my contents dry.

What a journey to realize
my dry, stained sponge was a gift from God.
Without it, I never would have searched for more.
Never reached up nor knelt down.

My life would have been a continuation
of my selfish quest for the impossible –
a life without pain, full of pleasure.

I now accept the fact that life is not meant to be easy.
If it were, we would have nothing to look forward to.

I can only strive to give more and love more than I take.
Judge less and forgive daily,
all while learning to embrace my imperfections.

J.S. 2009

My hope is if you’re in your own storm, you will rest, give yourself grace, and spend time in God’s word.  Then, step back out into the sunshine.  Slowly, yet confidently.  Plant your steps firmly, knowing if they’re in faith, in line with His will for your life, He will not only match your steps but line your streets in gold.  Will you have mud in your soles at first?  YES.  Lots and lots of mud.  There might even be tiny stones that have slipped inside your shoes, making it painful to walk.  Keep walking until your heels have blisters.  Then … walk some more.  Your breakthrough is on the other side of your pain.

“Be brave, be kind, be bold, be fierce, be YOU”



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