Hello friends … I’ve missed you.
It’s been so long since I’ve posted here, mainly because I’ve been growing in ways I never expected, emerging out of a tumultuous season into a period of my life that feels like a peaceful dream sometimes. I haven’t had words to describe it, so I just stopped writing all together.
Witnessing the birth of my granddaughter brought with it a multitude of gratitude. She’s almost three months old and has already taught me so much – mainly that love and trust are all you need. When I’m holding her, and her eyes pierce my soul, it’s as if she’s letting me know that she understands the promise I made to her moments after she was born when she latched onto my finger. The promise that she would ALWAYS be loved and she could ALWAYS take my hand and feel safe. As I look at this picture now, with those paper-thin fingernails, I feel emotional just thinking about how vulnerable she must have felt in those first moments.
I prayed for this child, and all I know is God is good. He is patient. He is kind. He is forgiving. He never fails us.
As I ponder the future with ALL my grandchildren, I look forward to loving every ounce of them and celebrating their individual personalities. It also makes me realize life stands still for no one.
I’m three months away from turning 57. FIFTY SEVEN. Twenty thousand, eight hundred five days old.
That means three years and three months away from turning 60.
Why does that freak me out so much? I believe it’s because I always considered people that age to be OLD.
How can this be happening when I still wear ripped jeans and love a good graphic T-shirt? When I still shamelessly scream “watch out” in Walmart for falling prices, try to embarrass my bestie when she’s driving through Starbucks, and attempt to give my 31 yr. old son wedgies? The list goes on and on. I’m like SEVEN in real life, but my body screams otherwise.
Sure, it’s a little harder to climb in and out of my little car, but GEEZ….57?
As I ponder this atrocity, I find a few lessons in my day-to-day life that I’ve embraced and it seems to take the sting out a little and interestingly enough, it revolves around being content with LESS.
LESS make-up, especially – A little tinted moisturizer, blush, mascara and lip gloss will make you look younger than the caked and camouflaged look society has jammed down our throats our entire adult lives. Those beautiful eyes I see perfectly outlined in black that seem to be popping up all over Instagram will never be mine. I’m okay with that.
LESS hair color – did you know that returning to your “natural” hair color will make you look younger as you age? It’s true. I stopped highlighting my hair about 5 years ago. I have NO idea what is grey and what is my normal color – but it has found it’s new normal and I’m embracing it.
LESS worry about what others think – Being an empath, I already KNOW what people think of me in most situations. The key words here are “worry about what others think”.
Remember, for every person who feels you’re too much, there are a dozen more feeling empowered by your ability to be true to yourself.
LESS sleepless nights trying to be someone I’m not – If I could go back would I change a few things? Tweak this or tweak that? Um, of course. But I can’t. So I won’t. So I will just BE.
- BE brave…I will continue this journey with love, humor, courage and faith. I won’t show the shiny without showing the grimy and Lord knows I have plenty of grimy. I will let others shine, especially if it requires me to step out of the spotlight. Sometimes you just need to be brave and pass that torch, yes?
- BE kind…I won’t intentionally hurt anyone, I will never give up my desire to go from “strangers to friends” on elevators, and I will never stop trying to make others laugh until they pee a little. Laughter brings healing to the bones.
- BE bold…I won’t lose sleep over those who don’t understand my purpose on this earth…the motives behind my behavior…the thoughts in my head or the dreams in my heart. Those are the few things that I can hold close, just for ME. I will embrace the fact that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime and I’ll be prepared to open and shut the doors accordingly.
- BE fierce…I’ll listen to my promptings and act on them without delay, knowing God CAN and WILL use me in supernatural ways if he knows I’ll be obedient to his call. I’ll also remember the more I act, the bigger the assignments will be.
- BE me…I’ll always be true to myself – just like flying on an airplane, I’ll put my own mask on first. I won’t sacrifice my unique gifts to make others feel more comfortable around me and I’ll strive to always leave people better than when they found me.
These are the thoughts, goals and priorities I will take into 2019. These are the things I’ll strive for and stand for as I refine and polish the doubt, insecurities and worries that are bound to creep in.
My hope is you will ponder and create your own vision of what your life should look like, what you stand for, and how you perceive your place in this world. Then go out and make a difference.
Be you … SHAMELESSLY.
We all have something to give. The key is finding the people who have the capacity to appreciate you for YOU…but it’s impossible to find your “people” until you take off your mask.
Once the mask is off, we are finally free, Amen?
“Be brave, be kind, be bold, be fierce, be YOU”